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NOTE: A NAKED JEW HAS OBTAINED ALL THE JICK / JICK&SKULLY SHOWS THAT WERE AVAILABLE ALL THE WAY BACK UNTIL JANUARY 2004. IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME FOR THE QUOTES FROM THESE SHOWS TO BE POSTED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE, AS IT MAY BE A MATTER OF MONTHS BEFORE THIS IS POSSIBLE.
I have a mancrush on Werebear.
-Jick, 2005
I hear tell Mr. Skullhead uses the Magnums.
-Jick, Fall 2005
I don't have a sh0rt ween0r. I've got a big veiny cock.
-Jick, Fall 2005
I've got 99 bitches, and not a single one of them is a problem.
-Jick, 2/13/2006
I don't really care about Neopets. I feel the same way about Neopets as George W. Bush does about black people.
-Jick, 2/13/2006
There's a swanky restaurant downtown in Flagstaff? Are you sure it isn't just a filthy park bench?
-Jick, 2/13/2006
Um, yeah... went to Vegas... and I saw Penn & Teller, which was entertaining... aaaand, I got married....
-Jick, 2/20/2006 (In response to Mr. Skullhead asking him "Anything new with you?")
Looking for a place to get married in Vegas on the web is kind of like looking for song lyrics or porn.
-Jick, 2/20/2006
Somebody asked me in chat earlier if I was gay, bi, or bicurious... I didn't like that set of options.
-Jick, 2/20/2006
A Naked Jew has made a page of Jick quotes from the radio... [Skully: We'll be happy to plug that for you, Naked Jew, once you get it off of Geocities.] Yeah, off of Geocities, yeah... I'm not going to read a Geocities address out loud.
-Jick [and Skully], 2/20/2006
She did have a lovely nosegay... lawl.
-Jick, 2/20/2006
Mr. Skullhead and I did NOT get married... they don't allow you to do that in this state.
-Jick, 2/20/2006
I kung-fu'ed your MOM in the bush... and then we went to the Sydney Opera House. ...Actually, we went to the hospital first.
-Jick, 2/20/2006
It's a lot harder to come on your mind than on other parts of you?
-Jick (to Skully), 2/20/2006
Clown, comma, penis, comma, Pine-Sol.
-Jick, 2/20/2006, in reference to THIS one-paragraph post at alt.religion.kibology from 1995. (you can read the post by clicking the word "this" in the last sentence; then scroll up half an inch to see the post's title and description)
It tastes like cherry anus... I tried cherry-flavored anus, and... Code Red smelled like that.
-Jick, 2/23/2006, about Mountain Dew: Code Red
We keep HotStuff around to make our jokes seem funnier.
-Jick, 2/23/2006
Oh my god though, HotStuff, find my wine, find my wine, I took it somewhere and now I don't know where it is.... Uh, it's just a glass. And it's got wine in it. Awww, my wife brought it to me. Thank you, wife.
-Jick, 2/23/2006
"Hop = Kangaroo; Scotch = Dutch..." What the fuck do scotch and Dutch have to do with one another?! [HotStuff: Scotland and Holland are the same place. Have you ever seen them together? In the same room? No you haven't!][Riff: So like, the Netherlands is Scotland's secret identity?] [HotStuff: When it's wearing glasses, you can't tell.] It goes into a phonebooth, gets drunk, and comes out and it's Scotland?
-Jick (and HotStuff and Riff), 2/23/2006
I mooned your MOM and got to second base.
-Jick, 2/23/2006, during his ill-advised baseball analogy for the interrelationship of Sun, Moon, and Earth
I refer to my scanner and my laser printer as my Mexican children. They just do everything that I want, and they don't cry when you have sex with them. Exactly like Mexican children.
-Jick, 2/23/2006
Is it surroundy?
-Jick, 2/27/2006, asking about Mr. Skullhead's new surround-sound system
In other worlds, they don't have dentists.
-Jick, 2/27/2006
Break up with your boyfriend... or, y'know, don't let his cat on the bed. Get a razor-wire perimeter set up around your bed. Full of dobermans. Or dobermen.
-Jick, 2/27/2006, suggesting a way to get TedPro's boyfriend's cat to stop peeing on the bed
How is it that he so thorougly went insane and just fucked the entire thing up?
-Jick, 2/27/2006, regarding George Lucas and Star Wars
Working on the radio is for lamez0rs.
-Jick, 3/2/2006
I've got a great face for your mom's TWAT.
-Jick, 3/2/2006, in response to Xenophobe saying "You've got a great face for radio"
I plan on naming my firstborn son Edgar Normous, so that he can go by E. Normous Johnson... either that or Richard Rodney "Dick Rod" Johnson... Peter... John Thomas Peter Dick Rod Johnson.
-Jick, 3/2/2006
We should get a female intern. I don't want a bunch of blowjobs from a dude. Oh wait, I'm married. I can't have an intern.
-Jick, 3/2/2006
I'm looking at A Naked Jew's thing... about stuff....
-Jick, 3/2/2006
Haplo: now with less dog-fucking than Amplitude!
-Jick, 3/6/2006
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